Angeles City Hash are a keen singing Hash. This is principally a collection of the songs that we sing for ‘down-downs’ either in the circle, or after the runs at the “Après Hash” (which is the piss up which continues after the circle, until the beer runs out.)

This song book is not intended to be an encyclopaedia of all the world’s dirty songs.

Over the years we have accumulated a large number of our own original songs, and these comprise over half of this collection. The songs composed by members of ACH3 have had their authorship credited here. Where the approximate year of composition is known, it is also shown alongside the song’s title. For the older songs this is usually just a “guesstimate” date.

We have added a few explanatory notes here and there about some of the songs and also some anecdotes about our hash’s history, its traditions, and some of its characters.

We have tried to be scrupulously fair in crediting the authorship of every song here. Where the author is unknown it is listed as being “Traditional”.

You may have already heard some of our songs elsewhere, or seen their lyrics on the internet.

Any song in the index that is prefixed with three asterisks, ( *** ) is an original of ours.

With the exception of two pre-1984 songs, all the ACH3 songs were composed within the memories and the Hash career lifetimes of a number of our current members. Therefore we can verify the parentage of all of our own songs and confidently claim them as being our very own little bastards.

We have tried to include all of the verses of our originals, although we usually sing only one verse for any one down-down.

The rest of the songs here are either Hash songs from elsewhere, Rugby songs, or just traditional bar room ballads. These “other” songs are those which we would sing (and still do) in the days before we began making up our own.

The lyrics of most of these are very well known, and can easily be found elsewhere.

For these songs, we have mostly only included only the one or two verses that actually get sung in our circle, or at “Le Après Hash”.  

Inevitably, other people’s lyrics have sometimes become forgotten, or confused.

In some cases we have adapted the original songs by replacing any forgotten lyrics with those of our own. These songs are listed as being “adapted by ACH3”

Sometimes, we have used someone else’s songs but have added completely new verses of our own. These are usually listed as:- “This verse by (someone) ACH3”

Where we believe that we know the origin of Hash songs from other Hashes, (via other Hash song books for example), then we have in good faith, credited their authorship.

Where a number of us think that we know who the author of a song was, but are not absolutely sure, then it is listed thus:- ”As told to us by” (whoever)

At the completion of each down-down song, the whole circle sings….

“So Drink Mother Fucker!” or similar jolly words of encouragement to the recipient.

SOME OF THE WELL KNOWN HASH SONGS THAT WE DO NOT SING IN OUR CIRCLES;-

1 “HE’S A HASHER, HE’S TRUE BLUE”.

 This is widely revered by many of the world’s more polite Hashes as being the “Mother Song” of all Hash songs. It is “de rigueur” in some circles.

In fact, in some circles it is the only song that they sing.

Worse still, some Hashes don’t sing any songs at all!

Anyway, this song is bloody boring, so we give it a miss.

 2. “SWING LOW SWEET CHARIOT

 This is also bloody boring.

Plus, it is England’s unofficial Rugby Union song, and apart from the Poms, who wants England to win anything?

Also, in “Ye Days of Old”, ‘The Dragon Lady’ and her ‘Harpies’, used this song as an excuse to sexually humiliate whichever gentleman was doing a down-down at the time. These sordid acts inflicted great emotional suffering upon many innocent and clean living lads. Often, these young ‘uns were so traumatised by the experience, that many of them went on to become serial killers or transvestite suicide bombers.

Even the more mature but less well endowed ‘members’ (sic.) amongst us, were often ‘exposed’ to ridicule and scorn ‘at the hands of’ (sic.) these so called “ladies”.

Pity then, any poor Hasher who had a fat arse, a small ‘willy’, or only one ball!

So fuck it, we don’t sing it. The memories are too painful.

 3. “The Twelve Days of Hashing”.

 This song is not only incredibly long and boring, but when “Proposition” visits us and sings it, it just goes on, and on, forever. Usually, the circle loses interest and goes home hours before he has finished.

But old “Proppo” gets so carried away with his favourite song that he never notices that everyone else has buggered off.

The poor bloke gets left all alone howling at the moon until late into the night…..

 Okay! Altogether now lads!….

On the 121st day of Hashing my true love said to me………. ….

On the 122^nd day of Hashing my true love……,

On the 123^rd day of Hashing…………

 Bollocks to it! There is another life besides hashing.

 RAVE REVIEWS FROM AROUND THE WORLD FOR THE ANGELES HASH SONGBOOK!

“WELL DONE MOOSH! THIS IS FUCKING GREAT, I PISSED MYSELF LAUGHING.!”  

(Her majesty Queen Elizabeth the Second)

 “VILE AND TURJID SHIT LIKE THIS DUZ NOT DEZERVE PUBLIKATION. GODDAM YOU ANJELES HASH!  I PRAY THAT YOU’LL BURN IN HELL YOU SATANISTS!”

(Sarah Palin)

 “THE ‘HARD CORE’ LAVATORY BALLADS ARE SENSATIONAL! THEY’VE LED ME TO ENJOY MANY SLY UNDER THE TABLE “SHERMAN  TANKS” DURING MY TV SHOWS.

OH, IT’S SO SECRET AND EXCITING!  THE REST OF THIS IS JUST LIBERAL/COMMIE   CRAP. IT MUST HAVE BEEN WRITTEN BY A FRENCHMAN, OR BY BARACK OBAMA.              

(Bill O’Thuggery:  c/o The Y.M.C.A.  San Francisco.)

 THIS SHIT WAS TOO FUCKIN’ SUBTLE TO GIVE ME A ‘BONER’! I WISH THAT THE *INNUENDO* ABOUT GOATS AND ALTAR BOYS HAD BEEN RAUNCHIER, AND FAR     MORE EXPLICIT. KNOW WHAT I MEAN MEN? (*innuendo, get it? Snigger, snort!)

(Bill O’Buggery: ‘Maitre d’ at the Y.M.C.A. Sauna Baths, San Francisco.)

  “I WOULD HAVE LIKED TO SEEN MORE JOKES ABOUT NUNS”

(His Holiness, The Pope)

 “WE GOAT HERDERS AND THIEVES IN FILTHYSTAN WERE DISAPPOINTED THAT YOU DID NOT INCLUDE THE EROTIC RAP BALLAD WHICH IS MOST FAVOURED IN OUR LOVELY ‘TWIN CITIES’ OF SODOM AND GOMORRAH. I REFER OF COURSE, TO THE LIVE RECORDING OF…. “GONNA RIP YOUR RECTUM, ‘COS YO’ MY BITCH.” … SUNG BY MIKE TYSON, WHILST HE COPULATED WITH HIS UNWILLING CELLMATE, MICHAEL JACKSON, ON STAGE, AT THE SAN QUENTIN PRISON XMAS PANTOMIME.

AT THE TIME, MR. JACKSON HAD BEEN PLAYING THE ROLE OF THE FRONT END OF THE PANTOMIME HORSE.  HOWEVER MR. TYSON, (WHO HAD BEEN PLAYING THE REAR END OF THE HORSE), WAS OVERCOME BY A MIGHTY LUST. THE SMALLER MICHAEL GOT SUCH A SAVAGE  “FRECKLE PUNCHING” THAT HE LOOKED  THOROUGHLY FUCKED. 

 WOW! HOW THE PRISON AUDIENCE CHEERED. THE BLEEDING AND WEEPING YOUNG MAN WAS STILL BENT OVER AND TOUCHING HIS TOES AFTER TEN CURTAIN CALLS!

(“The Mad Hatter”: D.J. at “Sod’s!” the gayest dico and deli. in all the Middle East.)

 “FRANKLY, AT FIRST GLANCE, IT ALL SEEMS TO BE MERE FILTH OF THE MOST ADOLESCENT KIND, AND AS SUBTLE AS A VERY LOUD FART.

HOWEVER UPON FURTHER REFLECTION, I DISCERNED FAINT ECHOES OF “CAROLS FROM KING’S COLLEGE CAMBRIDGE’, OR EVEN, HANDEL’S ‘MESSIAH’,

SO YES, IT DOES HAVE A CERTAIN ‘JE NE SAIS QUOI’,“

 (Quentin Fucknuckle’s Literary Review, in ‘Pseud’s Corner’, Private Eye Magazine)

 “UNASHAMEDLY EROTIC! SOME OF THESE SONGS (Pages 40 and 41) HAVE BRAVELY SMASHED THE LAST GREAT TABOO AND MIGHTILY PUSHED FORWARD THE ENVELOPE OF SEXUAL TOLERANCE. IT’S GREAT, I AM REALLY DIGGING IT!”

 (Orpheus O’Morpheus, author of “Sex After Death, And Why It’s Cool.”

 “IF WE HEAR ANY MORE SONGS TAKING THE PISS OUT OF OUR HASH, YOU LOT IN ANGELES CITY ARE FUCKING DEAD. ESPECIALLY THAT CUNT DOGGY DAVE!”

(The Committee of The Pattaya Dirt Road Hash ….“The Dirtiest Hash in The World”)

A brief introduction for those people who don’t know much about us:-

 ‘THE ANGELES CITY HASH’ (founded 1978) is the “umbrella’ Hash for a number of ‘shadow hashes’ here in Angeles City.

‘THE ANGELES “BEACH” HASH’ (founded 1986) is our monthly outing for gentlemen only.

‘MOUNT ARAYAT HASH’ (founded 1999) is our weekly hiking hash.

There are also other groups which are loosely termed as Hashes.

‘THE MOTORBIKE HASH’ which is for serious dirt bike trail riders. (Rides fortnightly.)

‘THE ALIEN HASH’ (founded sometime in the late 1990’s) involves convivial drinking and ogling, and provides some exercise when walking between bars. This hash is a great one for serious believers in Conspiracy theories about U.F.O.s.  

 All the members of these ‘clubs’, come from among the same ranks of Angeles City’s expat derelict bums and dossers.

 This collection of “naughty” songs has been compiled principally for our own reference.

ACH3 have no plans to print this out in the form of an Official Angeles Hash Songbook.

Many visiting hashers, who after having had a good crack in our circle, have asked for an updated collection of our songs to be posted on our website.

So here it is to download. 

Angeles Hash Song Book MAR10.doc